Words of Lav

Still Waters Why is it that the most highly placed people walk the humblest?  Why are the intellectuals always in doubt?  Why is it that the strongest feel the most pain?  Why does quality only have a small clout?  Why are the gifted under-confident?  Why are the talented mostly lost? Why is it that the kindest are the most hurt?  Why do the wisest feel like they don’t know a lot?  Why does inferiority birth the boastful?  Why do the weakest cause the most harm? Why do still waters run deep?  Why don’t the most attractive know their charm?  ~ Lavanya Ayren 15/11/23

Hustle People see the grins and smiles Not those hurdled walks through the miles. People see you rich and fine Not the ragged days of sweaty climb. It’s true that success hugs in private and failure slaps out loud No one knows about your sewed up wings, helping you fly through the murky clouds. So why be troubled, darling, to make them know? In peace you bloom, in silence you grow 'Cause your growth can’t be measured by their applause You are grinding for your own cause. Work hard quietly, let your success make the noise But even if it's muffled, know that you have a choice The choice to not be dismayed by underappreciation Remember, you’re your own mentor, your own competition. and for that, if you know you’re successful , it’s enough ‘cause after all it’s your hustle alone, and you’re tough. ~ Lavanya Ayren 12/10/22

I have come to my hometown to stay with my mum at my dad's place. It's in Uttar Pradesh, India. Yes, one of the most hostile states in India: rape-wise.  No no, don't worry. This post is not about that. Nothing bad has happened to me on this trip. Yet. I said "yet" because one can never be sure of it, especially in North India. The feeling of being unsafe is forever lingering at the back of my head, whenever I'm here.  I was born and brought up here. So I can say one thing for sure - I've never felt safe going out of my parents' house for a single day.  I had wanted to leave my city ever since I was a teenager and had learned what eve-teasing really was.  There have been many instances of cat-calling, and my mom or my older sister or my friend being touched inappropriately when I was going out with them, when I was 6-10 years old. But I was pretty stupid back then, just like other innocent kids from our era, and didn't really know what was happenin

There was a time when I felt invisible in crowded rooms and felt suffocated, and I thought something is wrong with me.   I’d be there with my extended family or a group of friends, and everybody would be having a good time, and I’d just sit there thinking of an excuse to leave. I'd just try my best to smile and fit in.   I thought I lacked confidence.   When I was in 7th standard, a teacher told my mum during the PTA “she is very bright and intelligent. She can achieve bigger things but she lacks confidence.” And since then, the whole of my teenage and young adulthood became a training to gain confidence. I participated in more extra curriculars and asked more questions in class than any other student, trying to let go of that hesitation of facing so many people. And once I started to open up, I was able to monitor my classroom, talk to teachers, participate in elocution and mono acting and sports, and even anchor games and activities all by myself.   But weirdly, I still felt ever

There is something I learned from my mom, something really important about expression. She never invalidated my feelings even as a kid. Whenever I told her something, or dared to tell her something, she always had this soft sincere expression on her face. She really tried to understand how I was feeling in the moment, she really listened. She never waived me off or laughed at me. I felt understood. And now I know that I had a wholesome childhood. But as I was growing up, I found myself getting quieter and living in my head. I always had this notion that girls are too emotional and I always hated when people stereotyped me in any way. I wanted to be different than the others. I wanted to seem stronger minded. "Take a chill pill" was a comment I was afraid to receive from anyone, and I never wanted to seem uncool by talking or expressing myself too much. Being a little aloof felt cooler.  But no matter my own feelings, I was always a good listener. Soon some people came into my

In this era, where everyone is being constantly watched, where every personality is being constantly talked about, appraised or ridiculed, we are trying so hard to fit in or be unique, that we often forget to just be ourselves. This morning while I was making my coffee and I smelled its aroma, I told my friend that coffee's flavour does something to me, it arouses my senses and makes me feel good somehow. And then I instantly judged myself of being like one of those 'coffee freaks' whom they make memes on now, where loving coffee is considered to be an intellectual or fancy thing or what some people like to brag about.  I immediately thought if my friend judged me on this, does he think that I'm showing off or something? And then it hit me. Taken from Pinterest We're forever worrying about acting different and being more likeable to others. If I own an iphone and I really want to praise one of its features, I stop and think twice if that would make me soun

When I say that the ultimate human motivation is Love, it is no exaggeration. Love can be found in the minutest of places; it only takes an open heart to see it. A dog wagging its tail at your feet and burying his face in your arms when you pet it, a gardener busy at his work with the roots and the shoots, or a stranger smiling back at you when your eyes meet, are all those gestures that suggest the presence of Love around. Like my everyday morning ritual, I was in the park, doing my runs and squats and Yoga. And like everyday, I sat on one of the six benches under the canopy, that is situated in the middle of the park. As I was choosing my bench, I saw an elderly woman smiling at me. I smiled back, but she fixed her gaze at me for a while, keeping that beam on her face intact. Her hair was very short and white, and from the gap made by her parted lips, I could count the only three teeth she had, or at least that were visible to me. She moved her stare from one perso

So here's a poem I wrote long, long ago. Also, since it's a question that I get asked a lot about this poem, and I'd like to say that all my content is inspired by what i see around. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's all autobiographical.  This poem is also special to me since it was my first ever. I was fourteen when I tried my hands on poetry.  I was six, when he never looked back. Sky was scary, nights were black. Mom kept weeping, I was scared. I wish he had never dared. It was once when I said to her, "Soon, mom, everything will be forgotten, his face in my memory has already started to blur". Mom smiled and hugged me, but I also know, she sobbed as she still cared, I wish he had never dared! Days were hard then, though only for some years, Then God sent an angel, who knew no sadness, no tears. They fell in love (I hated this!), somehow, some moment, somewhere. I wish Dad had never dared!

Everyone is an actor. We lie in our daily lives almost all the time. When I was a kid, and my mother would ask me if I ate all the chocolates kept in the fridge, I would automatically say no. “I don’t know what you are talking about”, I would promptly shake my head.   Of course she would know that I was lying but acting came so naturally to me. Like it’s a part of me. And we all do this. These different characters we play around about in our every day lives keep coming to us in different situations. The human tendency to make up stories to suit our needs is nothing new. But this particular incidence was indeed something different. Recently, I met a terrific actor, not the usual kind. I was in this new place where settling down was a bit of a hustle. And one always misses the comfort of their parents’ home; the meals cooked by their mothers, tops the list. So I went to this little eatery, which was close to my new house, claiming to serve home-like food. Though